Let’s get back to that unlikable neighbor. As the author points out, who you are trying to please is an important consideration in how much effort you will expend to earn their affection. Like or not, the author is sharing space with the neighbor. If there was an emergency, and they do happen, she might need that person’s help, or they hers. Plus, living right next to someone you can’t have a cordial conversation with sucks. Every interaction is fraught. If he is building a fence, what the hell else is he going to do? It’s none of your business until it happens. In this case I would say that you would have to be the bigger person and make that effort, even if it means making cookies.