“Ha Ha! Do my bidding you big doofus. I want to be held, played with, fed, and then you can change this soggy smelly thing I’m sitting in to something nice and dry. That’s it poop for brains, dance around and entertain me. You can make those stupid nonsense sounds that come out of your eating hole if you like. Yes, I would like that blanket wrapped around me again. This is certainly divine, ruling all I survey. Next I want to…No…No!…NO!!! Don’t put me in that cage again! Let’s be reasonable! I don’t want to sleep alone in that crate with the scary twirly thing above me! Stop! Stop!”