A friend of mine and I stopped at the Hofbrau Haus on Pittsburgh's South Side this past spring after a long bicycle ride, for some Hefeweizen, a big pretzel, and some sausage. As we sat on the patio outside enjoying our repast, a sinister group of black clad figures silently appeared out of nowhere on single wheeled electric skateboards, some of which appeared homemade. Tech bros! And they were running loose in the city! They had obviously stopped in the riverside plaza by the Monongahela to siphon power for their devices from the many outlets that had been positioned for innocent Christmas decorations. As the helmets came off, it became apparent that some of the Tech Bros were Tech Girls. Out came the vape pens, and who knows what substances were being burned in them?

I took a good slug of brew and a bite of pretzel, screwed up my courage, and went among them as they looked at their smartphones and checked over their gear. I didn't know what to expect. Would they start snarking about me on Tik Tok? Surprisingly, every one of them I talked to was extremely polite, and was very happy to share some information about their unique conveyences. I told them I had some concerns about motor vehicles on the bike trails, and I think we had a constructive discussion. When I returned to my table my friend had been ready to hit 911 on their phone, but I told them that we had nothing to fear from these Tech Bros. It's just the ones on the internet we had to worry about.